Wednesday, February 22, 2012

2.21.12


Zanja (n.): "the gutter," in Castellano. Zanjas usually run down both sides of a given dirt road in Argentina, in front of houses and buildings. Standard depth for a zanja is about waist-high on a large thoroughfare, for smaller roads, they usually reach the mid thigh. Zanjas are generally known to accumulate all manner of refuse, both solid and liquid, which mixes to form a slick, black sludge. If a dog bites you and then drinks from the zanja, you pity the dog, and hope it won't bite you again. When the street lights are dim, you worry about accidentally stepping, or worse, falling into a zanja. You've heard tales of people that have done so, the tales are not pretty. You may have helped once or twice when a given community has gathered to clean its zanjas; and while your optimism has noticed a curious brotherhood that this activity elicits among its participants, you must admit (though not pessimistically) that your nose has never be the same. You picture teenagers with black mud caked on bare arms to the elbow and bare legs to the knee.

Not all zanjas are filled with black ooze, some are quite dry and clean. Into these you fall frequently as you dismount your bicycle. And although it is a dry zanja, its cultural associations still curl your upper lip as you fall and produce not a few eeewww's to accompany the unbridled laughter of your spectators.

You wonder sometimes if anything lives in the zanja.

Some of your friends say they hate the zanjas, but you know they really just hate being away from home.

Once you may have witnessed a group of people pulling a middle-aged man out of the zanja. It was a grassy zanja that surrounded a large field. It was deep and he was heavy; he was also unconscious, delirious at the least. Drunk he may have been; he may have been drinking a bit and swooned, it was a fairly hot day. We heaved and heaved, it was difficult to get much leverage given the angle of the zanja. I can't remember now if he said anything during the entire process.

In front of each house there is a small bridge over the zanja. Most are wooden bridges, though sheet metal and care tires are also frequent. Some bridges you trust more than others. There is always a moment of doubt when crossing a zanja bridge. You have been repeatedly astounded at the strength of wood due to your experiences with zanja bridges. In your mind you often compare them to kingly drawbridges, though no drawbridge could compete with the simple, practical creativity of these small walkways.

It is customary, after crossing over the zanja, to stop at the house's gate and clap. Sometimes you secretly take pride in the loudness of your clap.

Sometimes when you clap, people let you in and give you some hot chocolate. They will usually take tea or drink mate. You sit by the fire because it is cold outside and sometimes the conversation makes you feel even warmer, like a brightness spreads within the room and polishes the best qualities of the hearts within it. You feel meaningfulness and smile often at the bliss of new understanding. One day you may have been there, in front of such a fire feeling the tugs of a shared gratitude growing in your heart. Sometimes your friends forget that feeling by the time you come back, but not this time. We could tell that he remembered and that he wanted us to come in. But his wife had said no. We were sad for her, he was especially sad. We never saw him again.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

2.8.12

Yesterday:

6:15am - I take Matty to seminary. It's a little chilly outside. The last two days have been somewhat gloomy; heavy grey clouds pass silently as they entertain overcast thoughts. No rain.

6:25am - I try to think of something to say as we drive to the Peachland church building; nothing comes to mind. Something light would be good, you know, to start off the day positively. I must have said something at least, but I can't, for the life of me, think of it now.

9:00am - Dave's first day of a new semester at College of the Canyons. He heads to his English class.

10:00am - English class over, Dave comes home for a bit before his next couple classes.

11:00am - I hear Mom and her cousin (Shelly) talking. Shelly is visiting from Utah and her and my Mom always have a fun time together. For this I am glad. They call a local nail salon and schedule pedicures for 4:00pm.

12:00pm - Dave leaves for his other classes. He takes my truck, a fact about which I always feel somewhat reluctant. I don't know why, maybe I just like my truck to be my truck.

2:30pm - Mom and Shelly leave to pick up Matty from school. They take our American Eskimo dog, Luna. To Luna, going anywhere is an adventure.

3:30pm - They get home and Matty leaves to go to Tom's house. A few days ago he left to go to Tom's house and came home with bleached hair. He had asked me if I liked the urine-colored experiment better than the mohawk he had had previously. I had said that I didn't.

4:00pm - The blessed hour arrives and my Mom and Shelly leave to go get their pedicures. They invite me, but I decline.

4:15pm - Dad gets home from work, Dave gets home from school, and Matty arrives with Tom a few minutes later. We decide to have a guy's night: Mexican food (Chipotle) and a movie (Source Code) starting at 6:00pm.

4:30pm - Matty leaves with Tom to go to Granary Square to get some Arizona drinks. He takes Luna, making it her second adventure of the day.

5:00pm - Matty and Tom get back from Granary Square, drop off Luna, and leave to go to the jacuzzi. I am skeptical: Matty hasn't been given this much freedom for a while.

6:00pm - Matty has not come home. Dad, Dave, and I are having an intense discussion about strong opinions and whether or not trying to convince someone of the supposed rightness of your opinion has any merit. We talk about capitalism, we talk about the depth of religious convictions, we talk about jazz music, we talk about movies, we talk about missionary work, we talk about poetry.

6:25pm - Matty is still not home, so we drive to one of the local pools to pick him up. We find him at the Alicante pool in the jacuzzi. He is leaning out of the jacuzzi asleep and alone. He is drunk on vodka. He could have drowned.

6:30pm - Dad drives home and Dave and I help Matty get up and walk. He had stolen the vodka from Granary Square. He had been feeling sad. He had thought it would make him feel better, like getting high does. He hadn't known it would be like this. We speak very little on the walk home; mostly we are sad. Ironic, right?

7:00pm - Shelly's sister-in-law is there when we get home. We put Matty in the tub and Dave makes him drink some water. Before they really know what's going on, Shelly has to leave to go have dinner with her sister-in-law and Mom has to leave to go to a Young Woman's activity at church. Matty is still vomiting, but not too much. He is very convincing, but I don't believe him completely and that makes me sad. He is drunk, but he is also exaggerating. Why?

7:15pm - Dad and I go back to the pool to find the vodka. We pour it out into the bushes.

7:30pm - We get back and let Matty lay down in his bed. Dave gives him a large plastic bowl in case he needs it. We order Chipotle over the phone and Dad and I go pick it up.

7:45pm - Dad and I get home and we start the movie. Dave tells us about Matty needing the bowl while we were gone and how he used oven mitts to take it out of Matty's room. He says that he had almost needed the bowl himself while he was cleaning it out. Mom and I have been texting the following back and forth since 7:00pm:

"What's going on....cigarettes??? Something else???"

"Vodka :( hes doing better now though"

"Was he wasted and puking??? :("

"Ya, hes laying down now, i think hes finally done puking..."

"ughhhhh..... is he aware of what a STUPID thing he did???"

"Ya, he feels pretty bad..."

"So you're giving him love?"

"Ya, just trying to be encouraging"

"Thank you. Was Tom involved too?"

"No, matty said he wasnt"

"Where did he get the vodka???"

"He stole it from CVS :("

"What? Nooo! :("

9:15pm - Mom gets home from the activity and we talk about Matty for a few minutes. None of us really know what to do. I think of the phrase "stuck between a rock and a hard place."

9:30pm - I get a sweet text from a dear friend:

"'It is a far, far better thing that I do, than i have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.' Happy 200th Birthday to Dickens :)"

9:45pm - The movie ends and Dave and I go to the supermarket to pick up a few things for Mom and Shelly - bananas, popcorn, and chocolate. We talk about Matty. We talk about our own demons. We talk about the beautiful, yet fickle nature of miracles. We wish for a miracle now.