Do we all reach such troughs in life? Deep down, I already know the answer to that question, but the surface man wants to deny its truth; to weed myself out of reality in hopes that my situation would be more dramatic and meriting of sympathy. If we didn't notice the faults in our lives, in ourselves, there would be little inspiration for change. This too shall pass, my friend.
How drastic has been my realization of the state of my life. And I think that only a series of revelations such as this could help me so specifically to see where and how to rearrange things. But change can be hard; I think I have wrongly assumed that I could make some minor changes and everything would automatically fall back into place. Such is often my assumption, but each time I come to realize that my mentally needs to change as well. Actions are fruits; changing them can be quite simple, but rarely sustainable. It is the mind and spirit where the true change needs to take place: motivations, decisions, and opinions.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
9.19.09
Sick I am, to the core, of passion's mask of love. Sick I am of attraction; of sex; of lust. Each spinning its own web of sour quasi-truth. Each dangerously convincing until the kindle spent: the heart can play no longer at the flitting pace of a masquerade. Do men truly love, or is it only a game played by childish dreamers? Too dangerous for me is the road of validation though so often have I walked there; so often does it call me and tempt me and hold me with its deceptions so delicious. And yet love so defined has only led me in dark circles; grasping at the night for moments, words, and songs. No, love is not a passion. For, try as they might, passions cannot penetrate the depth of the human soul. Chasing clouds and swearing vows hold their permanence only in ignorance.
Is true love so uninteresting that sonnets never touch it? Complex, perhaps, or mysterious or only a fact of perception? No, I say. It is a gift and, in this, it is the sister of spirituality. For do we not see similar trends in conversion? Do we not mistake passion for fidelity; excitement for testimony? Faith is not guesswork, nor a dramatic step to spite the dark: it is the knowledge of the guiding hand amidst the daunting world. So too is love not a symphony of expression: it is a symphony of life. It is a truth that, when sown, takes root in the very core of human identity. But pray, these roots can be touched by the changing tides upon the surface; they can be poisoned by a temporary satisfaction. But, the seed needs no culturing, it only need be given the opportunity to be cultured by a time devoid of expectation. Then it will grow beyond temporary limits and feed the soul with such a feeling as defies our mortal realm. That that is the whole point: true love is not a human creation, in feeling or expression. It is a divine truth; divinely controlled and divinely bestowed.
Time correct me if I am wrong.
Is true love so uninteresting that sonnets never touch it? Complex, perhaps, or mysterious or only a fact of perception? No, I say. It is a gift and, in this, it is the sister of spirituality. For do we not see similar trends in conversion? Do we not mistake passion for fidelity; excitement for testimony? Faith is not guesswork, nor a dramatic step to spite the dark: it is the knowledge of the guiding hand amidst the daunting world. So too is love not a symphony of expression: it is a symphony of life. It is a truth that, when sown, takes root in the very core of human identity. But pray, these roots can be touched by the changing tides upon the surface; they can be poisoned by a temporary satisfaction. But, the seed needs no culturing, it only need be given the opportunity to be cultured by a time devoid of expectation. Then it will grow beyond temporary limits and feed the soul with such a feeling as defies our mortal realm. That that is the whole point: true love is not a human creation, in feeling or expression. It is a divine truth; divinely controlled and divinely bestowed.
Time correct me if I am wrong.
Friday, August 28, 2009
8.28.09
Journal Excerpt (8.2.09):
Always haunted am I by the glorious potential of imagination. Imagination which climbs such lofty slopes to where it places its great men. And, with traces of reality it whispers that great men there have always been to do great things; men blessed by talent and conviction to bring about magnificent changes. Their ghosts inspire me, but my own doubts and jealousies wave their fearful hands at empty air repeating the phrases: they are but ghosts, their words were but fantasies, you cannot touch them and they therefore do not exist, replace your vain jealousy with reality, stop grasping at such selfish and nonexistent apparitions, would you carry your dreamy idealisms into a world trying so dearly to teach you its actual occurrences? How long will you consign your spirit to fly before you realize your body has not left the ground?
But, even so, even with these opposing forces--be they fear or reality--there is still the inner flame. A passion deep with that would give this body wings. A force that I can scarce account for, so deeply engraved by a perfect choice of experience. To be honest (admittedly selfish though it may be), I want to be a great man. And not a great man to but a few, for many a great example there are to their blessed and precious friends; a great man and a mover of history. I do not here seek to justify my desire with supposed qualifications of even with a precarious claim to a fictional right; I simply here express the desire, the craving and obsession which so haunts my soul with dream and ambition; with even the hints of potential itself. My greatest fear, I think, is not that it cannot come to be, but that it is not the will of God that so be my mortal sojourn. And alas, herein is manifest my short-sighted greed and fear. And here is where my faith whispers: loosen thy grasp, brother: give yourself to Him without condition or restraint and you will find what your very soul truly seeks; a treasure that even your imagination fails to capture and which cannot be attained by mortal device. Lose yourself, brother; deep down here you have the faith to do it. Do not pine for plans and controls, plan only to let go of everything.
Always haunted am I by the glorious potential of imagination. Imagination which climbs such lofty slopes to where it places its great men. And, with traces of reality it whispers that great men there have always been to do great things; men blessed by talent and conviction to bring about magnificent changes. Their ghosts inspire me, but my own doubts and jealousies wave their fearful hands at empty air repeating the phrases: they are but ghosts, their words were but fantasies, you cannot touch them and they therefore do not exist, replace your vain jealousy with reality, stop grasping at such selfish and nonexistent apparitions, would you carry your dreamy idealisms into a world trying so dearly to teach you its actual occurrences? How long will you consign your spirit to fly before you realize your body has not left the ground?
But, even so, even with these opposing forces--be they fear or reality--there is still the inner flame. A passion deep with that would give this body wings. A force that I can scarce account for, so deeply engraved by a perfect choice of experience. To be honest (admittedly selfish though it may be), I want to be a great man. And not a great man to but a few, for many a great example there are to their blessed and precious friends; a great man and a mover of history. I do not here seek to justify my desire with supposed qualifications of even with a precarious claim to a fictional right; I simply here express the desire, the craving and obsession which so haunts my soul with dream and ambition; with even the hints of potential itself. My greatest fear, I think, is not that it cannot come to be, but that it is not the will of God that so be my mortal sojourn. And alas, herein is manifest my short-sighted greed and fear. And here is where my faith whispers: loosen thy grasp, brother: give yourself to Him without condition or restraint and you will find what your very soul truly seeks; a treasure that even your imagination fails to capture and which cannot be attained by mortal device. Lose yourself, brother; deep down here you have the faith to do it. Do not pine for plans and controls, plan only to let go of everything.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
8.26.09
Journal Excerpt (7.22.09):
Maybe it was just the spirit in which I arrived there (Abbotsford), but I distinctly felt as if in a sort of home. I remember vividly a moment at Abbotsford when, while in the garden, I looked north into the landscape; or, as it seemed, into the whole of Scotland itself. There was a heavy mist in the garden and the mountains surrounding, giving the setting such a majesty and beautiful mystery as I have never seen; as if those same mountains held a subtle secret endowed by the endless magnificence, however tenderly expressed, of only time. A sort of divine secret, not so kept in spite, but with a gentle encouragement and love; kept, not from all, in the promise of potential and peace and the knowledge that again, through the surreal rolling-on of time, that same inspiration will be gloriously shared and unfolded.
There I stood, transfixed in the garden; the house and especially the Scottish flag fixed atop perfectly framed by the mist and mountains behind. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
Abbotsford itself, as a house, was inspiring as well: the greatness of Sir Walter Scott leaving its tendencies and reverence in it. The man himself looked very noble, but I was perhaps more inspired by the effects of his imagination and the perceptions of him. But perhaps not; I also felt a certain kinship towards him and his style of work even despite outward on public musings.
Maybe it was just the spirit in which I arrived there (Abbotsford), but I distinctly felt as if in a sort of home. I remember vividly a moment at Abbotsford when, while in the garden, I looked north into the landscape; or, as it seemed, into the whole of Scotland itself. There was a heavy mist in the garden and the mountains surrounding, giving the setting such a majesty and beautiful mystery as I have never seen; as if those same mountains held a subtle secret endowed by the endless magnificence, however tenderly expressed, of only time. A sort of divine secret, not so kept in spite, but with a gentle encouragement and love; kept, not from all, in the promise of potential and peace and the knowledge that again, through the surreal rolling-on of time, that same inspiration will be gloriously shared and unfolded.
There I stood, transfixed in the garden; the house and especially the Scottish flag fixed atop perfectly framed by the mist and mountains behind. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
Abbotsford itself, as a house, was inspiring as well: the greatness of Sir Walter Scott leaving its tendencies and reverence in it. The man himself looked very noble, but I was perhaps more inspired by the effects of his imagination and the perceptions of him. But perhaps not; I also felt a certain kinship towards him and his style of work even despite outward on public musings.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
8.24.09
Journal Excerpt (7.3.09):
We are in the library of a Sikh Gurdwara which is a beautiful and peaceful place. The spirits of pilgrimage and devotion predominate the building. We arrived this morning and after taking off our shoes and covering our heads, went upstairs to the main room where the sacred text is kept. It was a very large room; the architecture and sacred monuments again whispering of devotion and brotherhood. I was pondering on the devotion of those in the room--their beliefs and feelings. I'm sure there are many different stories and reasons for coming, but I reflected on that wonderful humility and inner awe that pulls men toward religion. In the end, the actions--fanning the book, reading the sacred text, bowing, giving money, and prostrating oneself--are simple and natural, baring their devotion in consistency and loyalty. And that, I think, was both my favorite and hardest part of my visit: craving to learn a new and beautiful path for my own dedication, but only being able to catch a sacred glimpse. It is a path I hope to learn more about in the future as I feel it is so incredibly edifying and fulfilling; another feeling by which our most basic human drives and characteristics can be connected in the spirit of literal brotherhood. A connection which transcends cultural and historical differences.
Now I am sitting in the library with some of my fellow students. We are listening to a local Sikh tell us about the Sikh lifestyle and beliefs. I felt very peaceful, especially when he spoke about trying to become one with God: like a river pouring into the ocean he said. A beauty unbound by the words of men; it is a feeling of our loving Father's hand.
We are in the library of a Sikh Gurdwara which is a beautiful and peaceful place. The spirits of pilgrimage and devotion predominate the building. We arrived this morning and after taking off our shoes and covering our heads, went upstairs to the main room where the sacred text is kept. It was a very large room; the architecture and sacred monuments again whispering of devotion and brotherhood. I was pondering on the devotion of those in the room--their beliefs and feelings. I'm sure there are many different stories and reasons for coming, but I reflected on that wonderful humility and inner awe that pulls men toward religion. In the end, the actions--fanning the book, reading the sacred text, bowing, giving money, and prostrating oneself--are simple and natural, baring their devotion in consistency and loyalty. And that, I think, was both my favorite and hardest part of my visit: craving to learn a new and beautiful path for my own dedication, but only being able to catch a sacred glimpse. It is a path I hope to learn more about in the future as I feel it is so incredibly edifying and fulfilling; another feeling by which our most basic human drives and characteristics can be connected in the spirit of literal brotherhood. A connection which transcends cultural and historical differences.
Now I am sitting in the library with some of my fellow students. We are listening to a local Sikh tell us about the Sikh lifestyle and beliefs. I felt very peaceful, especially when he spoke about trying to become one with God: like a river pouring into the ocean he said. A beauty unbound by the words of men; it is a feeling of our loving Father's hand.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
8.22.09
Journal excerpt (7.1.09)
Stonehenge, mysterious and beautiful, looms here in the English countryside. I feel like time has given these stones more reverence than research or discovery ever could. More a part of nature I feel than of this our human or man-made realm. The birds have the privilege to touch the stones while we cannot; the grass growing and clouds passing in their gentle, peaceful purposes while we perhaps only see and try to hold on to that eternal feeling that nature has seemingly perfected. And, in a sense, I feel like this message is of this massive structure most prevalent: simply by existing and by previously allowing our human hands to arrange its stone faces, it still whispers of the eternity of nature no matter its human or elemental interactions. It is so beautiful; inspiring in the way it casts its shade and pulls a permanence into the green and gray of its countenance. But perhaps the permanence and grace were always there--manifest in the grace of a living earth. Perhaps we have only just managed to glimpse it by harnessing our temporary stay to connect ourselves to a potential we long to share. Hence, we have not constructed, but simply organized an already-present grace and beauty. And beautiful it is.
I like it better as it is; pictures of a completed Stonehenge are somehow less impressive to me. I think its more beautiful now that nature has pulled it back into herself; a completed structure would speak more of a human purpose while an old, incomplete structure reminds the viewer that, as previously mentioned, the human interaction was simply that of organization.
Stonehenge, mysterious and beautiful, looms here in the English countryside. I feel like time has given these stones more reverence than research or discovery ever could. More a part of nature I feel than of this our human or man-made realm. The birds have the privilege to touch the stones while we cannot; the grass growing and clouds passing in their gentle, peaceful purposes while we perhaps only see and try to hold on to that eternal feeling that nature has seemingly perfected. And, in a sense, I feel like this message is of this massive structure most prevalent: simply by existing and by previously allowing our human hands to arrange its stone faces, it still whispers of the eternity of nature no matter its human or elemental interactions. It is so beautiful; inspiring in the way it casts its shade and pulls a permanence into the green and gray of its countenance. But perhaps the permanence and grace were always there--manifest in the grace of a living earth. Perhaps we have only just managed to glimpse it by harnessing our temporary stay to connect ourselves to a potential we long to share. Hence, we have not constructed, but simply organized an already-present grace and beauty. And beautiful it is.
I like it better as it is; pictures of a completed Stonehenge are somehow less impressive to me. I think its more beautiful now that nature has pulled it back into herself; a completed structure would speak more of a human purpose while an old, incomplete structure reminds the viewer that, as previously mentioned, the human interaction was simply that of organization.
Friday, August 21, 2009
8.21.09
Journal Excerpt (6.6.09):
Fast and testimony meeting today. It was a very nice meeting and I felt very touched by the Spirit. I was pondering about friendship and how the Spirit helps us to be equals. Or, perhaps not to be equals so much as to help us feel the equality and brotherhood with which we have already been endowed. It is a beautiful feeling: one of power and potential and also of humility and true happiness.
This thought has been floating in and out of my mind for some time and especially in the last week. I have asked myself, "why do I dislike so much noticing differences and making generalizations about foreign cultures?" I think it is a combination of a couple of things, parts of which are described above.
Firstly, I have yet to find a difference between cultures which stems from anything but societal trends with their roots in the basic human characteristics that we all share. In other words, I believe all human traditions, actions, and interactions, stem from simple human characteristics and emotions; to see differences as isolated events or characteristics and unrelated to oneself is to deny the basic human nature that we collectively share. These characteristics extend beyond the material world of possession and even beyond the surface world of personality. It goes much deeper and this leads back into my original point.
We are all children of the same Father. As such, we are all of equal worth and of equal status. And, even beyond being equal, we are all brothers and sister. That is, we are all connected in a wonderful and infinite relationship.
To me, I think that is what I love most about international travel and living among people of a different culture: learning, making friends, playing football, feeling loved, and loving my brothers and sisters. Surface differences exist, but deep similarities are the seeds of true friendship.
Fast and testimony meeting today. It was a very nice meeting and I felt very touched by the Spirit. I was pondering about friendship and how the Spirit helps us to be equals. Or, perhaps not to be equals so much as to help us feel the equality and brotherhood with which we have already been endowed. It is a beautiful feeling: one of power and potential and also of humility and true happiness.
This thought has been floating in and out of my mind for some time and especially in the last week. I have asked myself, "why do I dislike so much noticing differences and making generalizations about foreign cultures?" I think it is a combination of a couple of things, parts of which are described above.
Firstly, I have yet to find a difference between cultures which stems from anything but societal trends with their roots in the basic human characteristics that we all share. In other words, I believe all human traditions, actions, and interactions, stem from simple human characteristics and emotions; to see differences as isolated events or characteristics and unrelated to oneself is to deny the basic human nature that we collectively share. These characteristics extend beyond the material world of possession and even beyond the surface world of personality. It goes much deeper and this leads back into my original point.
We are all children of the same Father. As such, we are all of equal worth and of equal status. And, even beyond being equal, we are all brothers and sister. That is, we are all connected in a wonderful and infinite relationship.
To me, I think that is what I love most about international travel and living among people of a different culture: learning, making friends, playing football, feeling loved, and loving my brothers and sisters. Surface differences exist, but deep similarities are the seeds of true friendship.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
3.31.09
I've been thinking lately about love and relationships. I have some dear friends who have dedicated themselves passionately to picking up women. They read the books, watch the shows and tutorials, and practice constantly and are becoming very good at picking up women and taking advantage of social situations.
Last semester, I started down that same path; a path my friends and I had mastered in high school and I had been relatively out of touch with during my college experience. However, based on things I learned last semester and different experiences I had, I was hesitant to continue with the literature and practice this semester. It would seem that, down that path, there is a definite fork in the road and I would like to think that I, I took the road less travelled by. But I'm not entirely sure what my base motivations are, hence my ponderings...
To be honest, the art of picking up women is basically a game of control. It is rejecting the "nice guy" attitude which is associated with guys who are too nice and get walked on by women in all their relationships. Guys that often lack confidence and the ability to generate mutual respect; in their lives, it is often a queen-servant relationship. I agree with some aspects of this, but not necessarily in the same way. You see, the literature goes beyond to point of mutual respect and puts the man on the pedestal. It preaches that men should be the dominant actors in interactions and relationships and that it should be more of an alpha male-submissive female relationship. In essence, it puts control into the hands and whims of the man.
As a man, elements of control are very attractive. And I don't think that all aspects of control necessarily come from bad intentions, but I am learning that control is usually the offspring of fear and that, even if masked as a good intention, the drive to control situations, relationships, and opportunities is a very dangerous associate. This is the "fork" that I perceive between myself and my dear friends: I agree with the ideas of confidence, low-pressure interactions, and the development of personal potential, but I disagree with the ideas of control, dominance, and inequality. To me, a relationship should be an institution of equality. Not equality is the sense that the man and woman share everything exactly half-and-half, but equality in the sense that both people are equally empowered to contribute and develop their unique attributes, talents, and perspectives and are both equally flexible and adaptable to problem solving, planning, communication, and understanding. In other words, both parties are equally able and empowered to be their best selves, to continue in the development of their own selves, and to emulate and acquire the desirable attributes of their partner. In this way, the couple works as a single institution which goes beyond the abilities and potential of the two separate individuals.
But that is one man's dream. I don't even really know for myself if such an institution is really possible and this leads to another branch of my ponderings. What part of my personality is it that longs for such a relationship? Because, if it is the part of me that fears the future and fears uncertainly and difficulty in a relationship, than my dream is no better than the literature about picking up women and seeking to dominate the relationship: in this case my dream would only be another complex attempt at securing control. It might also be a dream based on my own personal fears of my own shortcomings and lack of confidence: perhaps I seek an "equal" relationship as a mask for a deeper desire to hide my insecurities in the desire for the responsibilities of another.
Time will tell, that is both the beauty and terror of relationships: they must be experienced. And I think this is my deepest motivation for leaving the high school tactics and pick-up-artist literature behind: I am trying to realize through my convictions and actions that opportunities and experiences will come in their due time. I cannot anticipate or expect them, that would only fuel my desires for control. Instead I can prepare by developing myself and by fostering edifying friendships and social interactions when opportunities present themselves. I can let go of my own social desires and take on a positive attitude as a leader, as an example, and as a friend. And, most of all, I can trust; I can trust that opportunities and experiences will be granted in their due time; I can trust that these experiences are meant to be learnt from and not to be given control of; and I can trust that there are divine interests in my social interactions that will lead to futures far beyond my own dreams. I have felt great love and friendship this semester as I have tried to take that different path and I have felt more edified, more empowered to use my unique talents and attributes, and more able to develop those attributes and become a better person.
The part of me that wants control and feels like "being a man" somehow has to involve dominance and control is still jealous sometimes of my dear friends. That part of me admires how they can bend situations to their advantage and quickly get what they want without losing face. I think there is a part of all of us that craves that kind of control; that wants immediate satisfaction and idolizes those who can get it. But I do not think there is a true sense of satisfaction and happiness down that path, as fun as it may be. I believe I am beginning to embrace deeper motivations and this has led to a social life not dominated, at least in theory, by expectations, pressures, or control. However, I have only found satisfaction down this path insomuch as those deeper motivations have been guided by divine feelings and promptings: as soon as they become tools to stay my fear of the unknown, I believe they have lost their empowerment and fall back onto the path that seeks control. A delicate balance to sure, but neither impossible nor unforgiving: it is the hint of something more than temporary.
Last semester, I started down that same path; a path my friends and I had mastered in high school and I had been relatively out of touch with during my college experience. However, based on things I learned last semester and different experiences I had, I was hesitant to continue with the literature and practice this semester. It would seem that, down that path, there is a definite fork in the road and I would like to think that I, I took the road less travelled by. But I'm not entirely sure what my base motivations are, hence my ponderings...
To be honest, the art of picking up women is basically a game of control. It is rejecting the "nice guy" attitude which is associated with guys who are too nice and get walked on by women in all their relationships. Guys that often lack confidence and the ability to generate mutual respect; in their lives, it is often a queen-servant relationship. I agree with some aspects of this, but not necessarily in the same way. You see, the literature goes beyond to point of mutual respect and puts the man on the pedestal. It preaches that men should be the dominant actors in interactions and relationships and that it should be more of an alpha male-submissive female relationship. In essence, it puts control into the hands and whims of the man.
As a man, elements of control are very attractive. And I don't think that all aspects of control necessarily come from bad intentions, but I am learning that control is usually the offspring of fear and that, even if masked as a good intention, the drive to control situations, relationships, and opportunities is a very dangerous associate. This is the "fork" that I perceive between myself and my dear friends: I agree with the ideas of confidence, low-pressure interactions, and the development of personal potential, but I disagree with the ideas of control, dominance, and inequality. To me, a relationship should be an institution of equality. Not equality is the sense that the man and woman share everything exactly half-and-half, but equality in the sense that both people are equally empowered to contribute and develop their unique attributes, talents, and perspectives and are both equally flexible and adaptable to problem solving, planning, communication, and understanding. In other words, both parties are equally able and empowered to be their best selves, to continue in the development of their own selves, and to emulate and acquire the desirable attributes of their partner. In this way, the couple works as a single institution which goes beyond the abilities and potential of the two separate individuals.
But that is one man's dream. I don't even really know for myself if such an institution is really possible and this leads to another branch of my ponderings. What part of my personality is it that longs for such a relationship? Because, if it is the part of me that fears the future and fears uncertainly and difficulty in a relationship, than my dream is no better than the literature about picking up women and seeking to dominate the relationship: in this case my dream would only be another complex attempt at securing control. It might also be a dream based on my own personal fears of my own shortcomings and lack of confidence: perhaps I seek an "equal" relationship as a mask for a deeper desire to hide my insecurities in the desire for the responsibilities of another.
Time will tell, that is both the beauty and terror of relationships: they must be experienced. And I think this is my deepest motivation for leaving the high school tactics and pick-up-artist literature behind: I am trying to realize through my convictions and actions that opportunities and experiences will come in their due time. I cannot anticipate or expect them, that would only fuel my desires for control. Instead I can prepare by developing myself and by fostering edifying friendships and social interactions when opportunities present themselves. I can let go of my own social desires and take on a positive attitude as a leader, as an example, and as a friend. And, most of all, I can trust; I can trust that opportunities and experiences will be granted in their due time; I can trust that these experiences are meant to be learnt from and not to be given control of; and I can trust that there are divine interests in my social interactions that will lead to futures far beyond my own dreams. I have felt great love and friendship this semester as I have tried to take that different path and I have felt more edified, more empowered to use my unique talents and attributes, and more able to develop those attributes and become a better person.
The part of me that wants control and feels like "being a man" somehow has to involve dominance and control is still jealous sometimes of my dear friends. That part of me admires how they can bend situations to their advantage and quickly get what they want without losing face. I think there is a part of all of us that craves that kind of control; that wants immediate satisfaction and idolizes those who can get it. But I do not think there is a true sense of satisfaction and happiness down that path, as fun as it may be. I believe I am beginning to embrace deeper motivations and this has led to a social life not dominated, at least in theory, by expectations, pressures, or control. However, I have only found satisfaction down this path insomuch as those deeper motivations have been guided by divine feelings and promptings: as soon as they become tools to stay my fear of the unknown, I believe they have lost their empowerment and fall back onto the path that seeks control. A delicate balance to sure, but neither impossible nor unforgiving: it is the hint of something more than temporary.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
3.17.09
I once knew a man
whose fear would stand as though his friend
laughing with much merriment
when skies were fine and blue
when words that split his life in two
were masked with nothing new
it was in the warm embraces
of a life that seemed so harmless
that his fear was best enshrouded
that his warmth was not so crowded
by the wants he swore he scarcely knew
his fear caressed as though his lover
whispering so safe and sure
of a future he could feel and see
a future with his bended knee:
on which and to which he was to flee
his fear would speak as though his brother
giving from so far away
words that hinted, sparked, and faded
words that, so much like his life,
were appreciated
only when anticipated
whose fear would stand as though his friend
laughing with much merriment
when skies were fine and blue
when words that split his life in two
were masked with nothing new
it was in the warm embraces
of a life that seemed so harmless
that his fear was best enshrouded
that his warmth was not so crowded
by the wants he swore he scarcely knew
his fear caressed as though his lover
whispering so safe and sure
of a future he could feel and see
a future with his bended knee:
on which and to which he was to flee
his fear would speak as though his brother
giving from so far away
words that hinted, sparked, and faded
words that, so much like his life,
were appreciated
only when anticipated
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
3.10.09
I continue thinking about culture, language, and education. We had a debate yesterday in my comparative education class about language of instruction policies. We talked about both the US and Africa and what multilingual policies would help to encourage development. As in the discussion, I will focus my remarks here on the primary level of instruction as secondary and tertiary have their own (though interconnected) challenges.
In my eyes, every child has a human right to be educated in his or her own culture and language so as to develop essential analytical and social skills. Multilingual primary school instruction policies hit closest to the mark on protecting that human right and empowering each child to be economically and culturally functional. In this respect, these policies are the most effective bridge between economic and cultural gaps in all societies. Given, the US and African countries are on different continents, have different histories, and demand separate analyses. However, these separate challenges and analyses should not be focused on whether or not multilingual policies should be implemented, but how they are to be implemented. As I have mentioned before, capitalist forces may have embarked on the road to globalization without realizing some of the social and cultural consequences. These consequences are not inherently bad, but have not been properly acknowledged to date. These roadblocks are largely the reason for the gigantic economic and social gaps that exist today in both developed and developing states. It is essential that these gaps be bridged if economic and human development is to proceed: a globalized world cannot afford the same magnitude of weights to its progress and citizens cannot afford insensitive policies that expect human rights, but do not facilitate empowerment.
So, the million-dollar question is: how do we do that? And my answer is: strong state and local leadership which ensure equal access to quality social services. And, in the context of this discussion, my answer is: we must start with education.
How can we do this in the US? I think we must ensure that immigrants receive classroom instruction in their own language for at least the first three years. Years four, five, and six should be transition years in which students transition from their native language to the administrative language of the state (in this case, English). Curriculum should also be extremely sensitive in terms of equality: cultural values (not traditions) should be taught and encouraged. Native English-speakers should receive similar cultural education: edifying, equal values to lower cultural boundaries. Ideally, English-speakers would also transition into a foreign language of choice during grades four, five, and six (such as do many Western European and Scandinavian states) to facilitate cultural equality and respect and do increase the quality of primary education in general. These programs would translate into extensive, more economically sensitive secondary programs, but that discussion is for another day.
This program would help children of all cultures and languages to be socially functional in their family and community and also economically functional in the national market through proficiency in the administrative language. Initially, I would expect a large influx of immigrants with desires to benefit from this type of program. However, whereas this influx could be too immense of a burden if the rising generation of those immigrating were almost forced to perpetuate the limited functionality of their culture and language, if that rising generation were empowered to contribute, what innovation and prosperity might be the result? But this is why I also advocate changes to the English-speaking curriculum: the empowerment of immigrants has the dreadful potential to exacerbate cultural differences. Cultural respect must be ensured through cultural-exchanging curriculum.
It may still appear to be culturally segregating from the outside, but I argue the opposite: a program along these lines stabs the fear and practice of cultural imposition and domination square in the heart. It helps to put cultures and languages on the same social level and in the same economic market. It begins to encourage them to work together and develop mutual respect. And, whereas that has been an ideal but not a necessity to human development in past years, in a global world we cannot afford current cultural boundaries. We cannot afford the conflicts and underdevelopments that are results of cultural imposition. We cannot afford the dead-weights and impossible responsibilities that are results of cultural domination. Culture, as is referenced to by Huntington, has the terrible possibility to be the battlefield of the future. It is my wish and deepest desire that it not be a battlefield, but a community. However, if we do not start to make the necessary steps now, I fear that current momentums, policies, and practices will pull culture to fulfill its most terrible potential.
In my eyes, every child has a human right to be educated in his or her own culture and language so as to develop essential analytical and social skills. Multilingual primary school instruction policies hit closest to the mark on protecting that human right and empowering each child to be economically and culturally functional. In this respect, these policies are the most effective bridge between economic and cultural gaps in all societies. Given, the US and African countries are on different continents, have different histories, and demand separate analyses. However, these separate challenges and analyses should not be focused on whether or not multilingual policies should be implemented, but how they are to be implemented. As I have mentioned before, capitalist forces may have embarked on the road to globalization without realizing some of the social and cultural consequences. These consequences are not inherently bad, but have not been properly acknowledged to date. These roadblocks are largely the reason for the gigantic economic and social gaps that exist today in both developed and developing states. It is essential that these gaps be bridged if economic and human development is to proceed: a globalized world cannot afford the same magnitude of weights to its progress and citizens cannot afford insensitive policies that expect human rights, but do not facilitate empowerment.
So, the million-dollar question is: how do we do that? And my answer is: strong state and local leadership which ensure equal access to quality social services. And, in the context of this discussion, my answer is: we must start with education.
How can we do this in the US? I think we must ensure that immigrants receive classroom instruction in their own language for at least the first three years. Years four, five, and six should be transition years in which students transition from their native language to the administrative language of the state (in this case, English). Curriculum should also be extremely sensitive in terms of equality: cultural values (not traditions) should be taught and encouraged. Native English-speakers should receive similar cultural education: edifying, equal values to lower cultural boundaries. Ideally, English-speakers would also transition into a foreign language of choice during grades four, five, and six (such as do many Western European and Scandinavian states) to facilitate cultural equality and respect and do increase the quality of primary education in general. These programs would translate into extensive, more economically sensitive secondary programs, but that discussion is for another day.
This program would help children of all cultures and languages to be socially functional in their family and community and also economically functional in the national market through proficiency in the administrative language. Initially, I would expect a large influx of immigrants with desires to benefit from this type of program. However, whereas this influx could be too immense of a burden if the rising generation of those immigrating were almost forced to perpetuate the limited functionality of their culture and language, if that rising generation were empowered to contribute, what innovation and prosperity might be the result? But this is why I also advocate changes to the English-speaking curriculum: the empowerment of immigrants has the dreadful potential to exacerbate cultural differences. Cultural respect must be ensured through cultural-exchanging curriculum.
It may still appear to be culturally segregating from the outside, but I argue the opposite: a program along these lines stabs the fear and practice of cultural imposition and domination square in the heart. It helps to put cultures and languages on the same social level and in the same economic market. It begins to encourage them to work together and develop mutual respect. And, whereas that has been an ideal but not a necessity to human development in past years, in a global world we cannot afford current cultural boundaries. We cannot afford the conflicts and underdevelopments that are results of cultural imposition. We cannot afford the dead-weights and impossible responsibilities that are results of cultural domination. Culture, as is referenced to by Huntington, has the terrible possibility to be the battlefield of the future. It is my wish and deepest desire that it not be a battlefield, but a community. However, if we do not start to make the necessary steps now, I fear that current momentums, policies, and practices will pull culture to fulfill its most terrible potential.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
3.5.09
I learned something very important today about complaining. Sometimes complaining seems that it cannot be avoided; stress and tension cause the mind to want to vent in some way. However, after venting today, I did feel somewhat more relaxed, but not justified.
Complaining, I think, only helps us to forget that it is the Lord who will see us through our trials, challenges, and temptations. He knows us perfectly: our talents, capabilities, situations, and doubts. I do not believe that we are given opportunities in order to fail. Even if those opportunities do not turn out the way we had anticipated, personal progression is not dependent on our own expectations when it comes to opportunities. Personal progression comes in faith and faith comes in knowing and believing that the Lord can and will make us equal to the task and then acting in accordance to that knowledge and belief. When I complained today, my belief that the Lord could make me equal to the task was not affected. However, by complaining I was doubting whether He actually had or would. I was trying to justify the hardship of my own attempts to control my situation, forgetting that it is my Lord who controls the situation and that He will see me through whatever task, be it seemingly easy or impossible.
As I look back at what I was complaining about, I realize that the Lord actually did make me able; He helped me every step of the way and made me equal to the task. And not only did He help me get things done, He gave me excellent, edifying educational experiences in the process. My mind should not be lingering on complaints; I should look back with extreme gratitude and amazement. I should look back and be able to strengthen my faith because of what the Lord helped me to accomplish. My trust in Him should now grow because of the fresh example that with His divine help, I can accomplish whatever should be His will. Complaining, I think, has the opposite effect: it has caused me to doubt my abilities and talents, to call them my own, and to fear future challenges. I would not have this be my mindset; it has only the power to cause doubt and fear.
In the future I will try to remember this better. I will remember that complaining does not edify, but its cursing is twofold: not recognizing the Lord's hand and not believing in His promises. I will remember that faith is not just believing that the Lord can, but that He will make me equal to the task. Beautiful and mysterious are His ways and who am I to question even the most difficult of challenges? In the future, I will try to remember not to complain and to think of faith instead of conceding even to the temptation and thought of complaining. Glory be to our Lord and the path He has chosen for me; I know He will see me through. May He keep us in our efforts to remember; may He keep us in our efforts to see His wisdom in all things and not forget ourselves unto temptations.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
3.3.09
Culture and language have been on my mind lately: I am in a comparative education and poverty reduction class and the issue of culturally sensitive policies comes up frequently. However, even though I see the logic and importance of culturally sensitive programs and initiatives, I have a tendency to exclude myself. There is a fear there, deep under the skin, of cultural division. And so, I understand culturally empowering motives, but there is a part of me that fears them; a part of me that I hope will continue to recede in coming years.
To illustrate: yesterday we discussed language of instruction issues which is one of my education policy passions. Basically, the argument is this: children should be instructed, at least for their first few schooling years, in their native language in order to ease understanding and preserve cultural roots. The effects of these initiatives are both economic and social and, I believe, are among the most effective in ensuring income and cultural equality. But what of the US? Yesterday, as we were discussing, our own education policies came into question. I was asked: are you saying that the US should adopt multilingual language of instruction policies? A few months ago, my answer would undoubtedly have been no. But not yesterday. Yesterday, and today, my answer was and is: absolutely.
I would not have intended to say no out of a conscious intolerance for other cultures, but most likely out of a certain brand of patriotism that lingers with the scent of Cold War suspicions. However, I believe my yes answer is truly patriotic in other ways; transformative ways; progressive ways. Imagine with me: all cultures within the US receiving equal opportunities and rights to education in their own languages. Does it stir you? It most certainly has me.
English is obviously the administrative language of the states that I do not believe this should change. But what is the US? Did we think that, in our dive into globalization, we could still preserve the same types of borders? Maybe we so thought, but the consequences are clear: today's world is increasingly a world of cultures and not of geographical boundaries. And, like the boundaries with which we are so familiar, this new development has been and will continue to be both beautiful and terrible as the years progress.
But we are so afraid, at least I was, to start to let go of those boundaries. Wouldn't I be doing a disservice to those who gave their lives for our independence? Isn't the US ours; haven't we defended it; haven't we nourished it; haven't we helped it grow? Fascinating questions; so incredibly fascinating!
I'll tell you what I believe: I think we would do more of a disservice to our predecessors by forgetting the edifying values of our culture in an attempt to secure a piece of land. In the slow, unstoppable progression of time, all will change anyway. Everything except the edifying truth of values. I believe that cultures are a way to preserve those values across time; from generation to generation.
That is why, to me, language is one of the greatest empowerment tools. That is why, to me, one of the greatest things we can do to be leaders is ensure the preservation and perpetuation of the edifying values of each culture in whatsoever place they reside; be it post-colonial Africa or the US.
To illustrate: yesterday we discussed language of instruction issues which is one of my education policy passions. Basically, the argument is this: children should be instructed, at least for their first few schooling years, in their native language in order to ease understanding and preserve cultural roots. The effects of these initiatives are both economic and social and, I believe, are among the most effective in ensuring income and cultural equality. But what of the US? Yesterday, as we were discussing, our own education policies came into question. I was asked: are you saying that the US should adopt multilingual language of instruction policies? A few months ago, my answer would undoubtedly have been no. But not yesterday. Yesterday, and today, my answer was and is: absolutely.
I would not have intended to say no out of a conscious intolerance for other cultures, but most likely out of a certain brand of patriotism that lingers with the scent of Cold War suspicions. However, I believe my yes answer is truly patriotic in other ways; transformative ways; progressive ways. Imagine with me: all cultures within the US receiving equal opportunities and rights to education in their own languages. Does it stir you? It most certainly has me.
English is obviously the administrative language of the states that I do not believe this should change. But what is the US? Did we think that, in our dive into globalization, we could still preserve the same types of borders? Maybe we so thought, but the consequences are clear: today's world is increasingly a world of cultures and not of geographical boundaries. And, like the boundaries with which we are so familiar, this new development has been and will continue to be both beautiful and terrible as the years progress.
But we are so afraid, at least I was, to start to let go of those boundaries. Wouldn't I be doing a disservice to those who gave their lives for our independence? Isn't the US ours; haven't we defended it; haven't we nourished it; haven't we helped it grow? Fascinating questions; so incredibly fascinating!
I'll tell you what I believe: I think we would do more of a disservice to our predecessors by forgetting the edifying values of our culture in an attempt to secure a piece of land. In the slow, unstoppable progression of time, all will change anyway. Everything except the edifying truth of values. I believe that cultures are a way to preserve those values across time; from generation to generation.
That is why, to me, language is one of the greatest empowerment tools. That is why, to me, one of the greatest things we can do to be leaders is ensure the preservation and perpetuation of the edifying values of each culture in whatsoever place they reside; be it post-colonial Africa or the US.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
2.27.09
I was thinking about blessings today and what they really are. Difficult times in life have a way of reminding us from whence all blessings flow and now, at a crossroads in my family's life, I ask myself: what will the future hold? Will a miracle or blessing be given from on high?
At first, my answer was: perhaps. But then I started thinking about what blessings actually are. Are they simply good feelings, opportunities, and gifts? I think they can be sometimes, but I also think the tendency to think of blessings as simply facilitators of current happiness can be frustrating and deceiving.
I think blessings are much more than gifts to fulfill current needs. It can be such, of course, but I think their true purposes and characteristics run much deeper. I think a blessing is anything (literally anything) granted unto us by our Heavenly Father that furthers our growth as His children. In the end, they are always what we need; our challenge comes in knowing and believing that and acting accordingly.
Blessings can feel wonderful and they can hurt terribly; they can leave us confused and they can enlighten our understanding; sometimes all in the same day. But they never hurt for no reason; they never are without purpose. I believe, and in fact I know, that blessings always (always) are for the benefit of our divine potential. That can be difficult to accept in life, especially when all we want is stability and predictability. It is hard to accept that our Father's purposes are dynamic, mysterious, and without regard to time: our lives will always change; we will always change. Our Father is unchanging in truth and doctrine, but He is also the master conductor of the symphony of experiences, emotions, opportunities, mistakes, and changes that is each of our individual lives. In this sense, change takes on a new meaning: progression; fulfillment of potential. In this sense, even our Heavenly Father continues to change, for He is continually progressing in ways beyond the comprehension of men. I think one of lucifer's deadliest traps is tricking us into believing that, after this life, changes and challenges cease: that once we pass into the eternities, we will be free of responsibility, care, and progression. It is incredibly tempting to believe, especially because the thought of challenges tomorrow can be very intimidating. And, this brings me back to my discussion of blessings.
If we know there will be challenges tomorrow, how do we approach those unknowns? Can we do anything to merit the necessary blessings? At first, my answer was: absolutely. But, now I'm convinced that merit on our part is not necessarily a requisite for blessings.
Does the Lord only bless those who obey? I am convinced that He does not. In fact, I am convinced that the Lord's blessings are not conditional; only our progress is conditional. The Lord blesses whom He will, when He will, and with what blessings He sees fit to fulfill His own purposes. Now, a part of me screams: no! He can't do that! It's not fair! Rewards should be granted based on merit! But why? Why do I think that way? I think it is because of fear: a fear of failure and rejection; a fear that I will not, based on my own perceptions, receive that which I believe to be in my best interests; a fear that I will not be credited for my efforts. However, say it how you will, fear cannot facilitate faith; it has only the power to destroy.
So, this brings up the issue of worthiness. Isn't personal worthiness what the Lord asks in order to merit blessings? Can't we "ask" and we shall "receive"? Can't we "knock" and it "shall be opened unto us"? Could it be that those promises have worthiness limits? Do we have to be at a certain scaled level of cleanliness to be guaranteed those blessings? I do not (not) believe that to be the case. Consider the following verse:
"Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not...all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive" (KJV: Matthew 21: 21-22).
What does that mean? Does that mean we do not receive some blessings we ask for because we do not believe enough? Does it mean that we are not worthy enough; that we are not high enough on the supposed scale? Absolutely not, at least not in the way I see things.
Christ says "if ye have faith". In this context, that connotes to me progression, willingness, and unity with divine purpose. Our Father's purposes will always be accomplished and they will be accomplished by way of blessings. Whether we actually see those purposes as blessings (unity), are willing to accept them as divinely appointed (willingness), and grow as a result (progression) is conditional on our righteous use of agency. I do not think we should obey in order to try and merit blessings. I think we should obey in order to exercise faith, that is, forge greater unity, develop greater trust and willingness, and learn how to be truly happy through the realization of our potential.
Whatever happens in life, let us know and believe that it is according to the Lord's will; that it is for our benefit; and that He will make us equal to all that we are to accomplish. If He has declared it, it will surely come to pass. This we must remember as life presents us with tender mercies, accomplishments beyond our known abilities, tempests which test our trust and perseverance, and trials that bleed more than it seems we can bare. All are blessings; all are divinely appointed; all are beautiful in their own right; all are accomplishable.
"I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save He shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which He commandeth them" (1 Nephi 3:7).
May the Lord keep us in our efforts to know and believe the truth of those words; may He keep us in our endeavours to act accordingly (whether that be making things happen, letting things happen, or both).
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
2.25.09
I was very inspired by President Obama's speech on Tuesday, especially since he mentioned education policy and reform which is my area of interest.
It is an excellent address: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/24/us/politics/24obama-text.html?ref=politics
Something he said that particularly struck me was, "As we stand at this crossroads of history, the eyes of all people in all nations are once again upon us, watching to see what we do with this moment, waiting for us to lead" (2008, 8).
Leadership is actually a topic I touched on in a previous post and it continues to resonate with importance as I continue my studies.
It is an excellent address: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/24/us/politics/24obama-text.html?ref=politics
Something he said that particularly struck me was, "As we stand at this crossroads of history, the eyes of all people in all nations are once again upon us, watching to see what we do with this moment, waiting for us to lead" (2008, 8).
Leadership is actually a topic I touched on in a previous post and it continues to resonate with importance as I continue my studies.
He alluded to it again in saying, "there is no force in the world more powerful than the example of America" (8).
I think a lot of policy makers and critics are afraid of certain policies because of their almost obsessive drive to preserve the status quo. "Why fix it if it ain't broke?" they say. Well I say this: when it comes to the realization of human rights and potential, we can always do better. Change will occur anyway; if it ain't broke now, someday it will break. Dynamic actions based on local needs allow for sustainable growth, real problem solving, cultural sensitivity, and human development. Of course, it also leads to an unknown future; hence the principle of choice is manifest. My argument is that the "don't fix it" approach is one based on fear and that any decision based on fear will never allow for the true realization of potential and will only have temporary results at best.
Obama also stressed the importance of personal leadership and the responsibility it carries. He said, "Those of us gathered here tonight have been called to govern in extraordinary times. It is a tremendous burden, but also a great privilege, one that has been entrusted to few generations of Americans, for in our hands lies the ability to shape our world, for good or for ill" (8).
To me, this statements echoes with words from the leaders in the Book of Mormon. They had to be leaders amid trying times, but they were dedicated to edifying values and human potential. They recognized the mantle of responsibility that comes with leadership.
Each of us can relate to those leaders and we should. Our times can be a painful reality, but I am convinced that, out of the most painful realities come the most satisfying destinies. May the Lord keep our dedication to our values; may He keep our leaders; may He keep us as leaders; and may He keep us in our efforts to fulfill our potential and return triumphant.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
2.23.09
I was thinking today about policy making. I one of my classes, my friend Elyssa brought up a very good point. In that class, we discuss education systems as a means of poverty reduction. We have studied extensively what works and what doesn't work, but, even despite the vast literature available to policy makers, decisions, even in the US, continue to reflect negative trends. Elyssa asked why policy makers keep making and enacting policies that are ineffective and how these trends could be changed. A very good question.
I think that policy makers, especially in the last 20-30 years, have been increasingly economically focused. Given the sizable growth the US has experienced, I can definitely see why politicians have had to become more literate in economic issues. And, to some extent, I believe this is a positive trend given that much on the US's agenda is geared toward economic growth and prosperity. Where it becomes a negative trend, however, is embodied in Elyssa's question.
I would argue that most policy makers are somewhat illiterate in issues dealing with human development, especially in terms of education and human resource development. This is not because they have openly rejected those issues as unimportant to their agendas; I think it is simply because, in many cases, globalization trends have steered policies toward very limited economic objectives. In many cases, it has been assumed that the "invisible hand" of the market system will equalize the distribution and exercising of civil and human rights. I argue that this is not the case because it shifts primary responsibilities from leadership to capital and mathematics. These global trends have been detrimental to developing societies and economies because they have often forgotten the people that comprise market systems. And, I would be so bold as to argue that these same trends are becoming detrimental to developed states and economies, but are not as readily dealt with because of the post-WWII momentum that most Western state and economies have gained and Cold War mentality that many leaders and policy makers of the Western world still share. In other words, the incredible momentum of the market system and the somewhat nervous approach to massive changes have led developed countries to somewhat ignore human development innovations such as successful education practices. I believe this is why policy makers continue to enact policies that are somewhat ineffective: they are misinformed about supposedly successful neoliberal policies and uninformed about essential human development innovations.
However, Elyssa's question has two parts. The second part asks how we can change those negative policy habits (which habits themselves are often naive to the fact that they are ineffective). This is a good question because it addresses a massive change that needs to occur in Western policy making. Luckily, there is no shortage of information and theory that would be of great use to policy makers: there are journals aplenty that endlessly discuss development innovations, criticize current habits, and suggest new ones. But my hope is not actually with a massive change to the current system; my hope is with a new generation of leaders. Leaders of my generation must be better rounded: they cannot continue to think inside the Marshall Plan/anti-Soviet box. We must be literate in the strengths and weaknesses of human development practices, not just the politics of market development. Our art must be that of international political economics with a human face. I believe this is the next step in the development of the global world: new leadership with the goal to shift responsibilities forward. Forward to ourselves as leaders to empower and forward to citizens to demand, exercise, and protect human rights.
The market system is wonderful, but it is and always needs to remain a means; not an end. The end is change. A change that is beautifully unknown and surprisingly possible to those who have the courage not to fear it. It is a blessing of our time to have such incredible development resources and I believe that most would not fear or avoid change if they were more literate in the human development literature. Notice that I use the word "literate" as opposed to simply "informed". Information is important, but does not imply responsibility. Literacy becomes a characteristic and attribute and must be accompanied with responsibility for change to occur. So, I think that is my answer to Elyssa's question: a rising generation of leaders literate in and dedicated to taking the next steps in human development.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
2.19.09
I was thinking today about "letting" things happen vs. "making" things happen.
I think the difference lies in pre-situational choices vs. attitudes and actions on site. In other words, I think "making" things happen should ideally refer to a firm dedication to opportunities and decisions: exploring opportunities and making responsible decisions and, if there seems to be no opportunities available, the seeking out of opportunities and the planning of achievement; assessing the pro's and con's and determining where to dedicate your pursuits; these things are "making" things happen. However, just as important is the "letting". In fact, this tender balance is a most essential attribute in life; a principle that cannot be rushed in its learning for, indeed, we are meant to spend a lifetime learning it. The "letting" is the time that is spent en route. It is adaptability and flexibility. And, most of all, it is trust. This trust must be set both in the knowledge of God (His existence) and the knowledge of His ability to bless and guide.
In essence, both "letting" and "making" constitute faith. "Making" constitutes faith in its aspects of seeking, planning, choosing, exploring, pondering, mistaking, and determining. However, it loses its faith when the aspect of human control is introduced. When the actions mentioned above begin to surround themselves with the walls of stress, fear, and control, they have lost their faith. And how often we forget; how often we, almost subconsciously, start to tighten our grips around our success in an attempt to secure a false stability; we forget that we cannot and should not do it alone. If you are questioning your ability to succeed, stop trying to do it alone and start asking yourself if it's what the Lord would have you do. And, whether it is or isn't, start "making" things happen, but not without divine help. Thankfully, the Lord does not abandon us in these situations. In fact, more often than not, He gives us a trial that will turn us back to Him, help us let go, and help us to grow. This is not shameful; it is necessary. As mentioned, an essential part of faith is mistaking. Another essential part is letting go; the "letting" things happen to which I now turn.
"Letting" constitutes faith in its aspects of trusting, letting go, accepting, adapting, changing, and waiting. However, it also can lose its faith. When it begins to sit in comfort and complacency; when it begins to lose its desires for change and, consequently, fear change; when it avoids making certain decisions because of unknown or difficult futures; when any or all of these occur, "letting" has lost its faith. And again, we often forget. But again, we are most often given trials to shake us awake, to help us "rise up from the dust and be men [and women]". If you are asking yourself why "bad" things keep happening to you or to others, stop trying to secure your own perception of stability in your life and "let" things happen.
Both the "letting" and "making" are essential aspects of faith. In life, we sometimes swing from one extreme to the other, but it is all part of the learning process. Remember, passions and excitement have their place, but are ultimately temporary; they are often masked as quick means to stability and success when they actually lead to the illusion and temptation of control. Remember also, fear, in any aspect, never comes from God. If you fear anything in life, know that you are not meant to. You have to know and believe that the Lord will make you equal to the task.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
2.17.09
This came while reading an article about structural adjustment programs and their devastating effects in developing countries:
Empowerment must go beyond the "grass roots" approach. If leaders are to create policies that will help communities and countries to develop, it is essential that they too be empowered with problem-solving and decision-making skills. And, in addition to those skills, they need to have access and know they have access to resources along with training in the effective use of those resources. I think that many developers are afraid that this type of training would impose Western ideologies on developing cultures. I disagree: problem-solving and decision-making are universal concepts that need to be present if any progress is to occur. It would only be culturally imposing insofar as one culture were to suggest the direction of that progress. For a people to have more equal access to social services, culture itself should be empowered at all levels of society: top-down and bottom-up.
Empowerment must go beyond the "grass roots" approach. If leaders are to create policies that will help communities and countries to develop, it is essential that they too be empowered with problem-solving and decision-making skills. And, in addition to those skills, they need to have access and know they have access to resources along with training in the effective use of those resources. I think that many developers are afraid that this type of training would impose Western ideologies on developing cultures. I disagree: problem-solving and decision-making are universal concepts that need to be present if any progress is to occur. It would only be culturally imposing insofar as one culture were to suggest the direction of that progress. For a people to have more equal access to social services, culture itself should be empowered at all levels of society: top-down and bottom-up.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
2.15.09
Today has been a strangely inspiring one. First I went to church and was moved by these pasages and text:
"[Fear] is spoken of as something unworthy of a child of God. The first effect of Adam's sin was the he was afraid (Gen. 3:10). Sin destroys that feeling of confidence God's child should feel in a loving Father. Even since the Fall God has been teaching men not to fear, but with penitence to ask forgiveness in full confidence of receiving it" (Bible Dictionary 1979, 672).
The topic of fear has born a certain frequency in my life of late; I have pondered often on its purposes and effects. I am convinced that it is the fountain from which all sorrow flows; the great enemy to happiness. And perhaps the most horrid thing about fear is its subtle impersonation of love. I felt today, while reading the text, that certain fears had crawled back into corners of my mind. Life's difficulties have a way of doing that, I suppose. But, the beauty of fear is that it cannot exist without its opposite: faith. And on this note I was drawn to the second passage--one of my favorites from the book of Alma:
"And Moroni was a strong and mighty man; he was a man of perfect understanding; yea, a man that did not delight in bloodshed; a man whose soul did joy in the liberty and the freedom of his country, and his brethren from bondage and slavery; yea, a man whose heart did swell with thanksgiving to his God, for the many privileges and blessings which he bestowed upon his people; a man who did labor exceedingly for the welfare and safety of his people" (Book of Mormon, Alma 48: 11-12).
I feel a certain kinship with Moroni and I admire greatly his demonstrations of faith, leadership, and dedication. He was a man not motivated by fear, though he certainly knew fear in his time. He was confident and demanding; he was not given to expectations, but lived with a dedication to the fulfillment of potential. In my career, I hope to personify similar attributes. So deep I hope to be my dedication to potential as was Moroni. To do this, there are two keys to which I think I should currently direct my energies:
1. Be driven by potential, but not expectations. I am finding that expectations can be a clever mask for fear. Expectations lead us to the deception of control. We cannot expect things to happen; we must allow things to happen. The future cannot be accurately gauged by expectations, but the power of potential is limitless. Moroni saw the potential of his people (liberty, safety, well-being) and worked with all his capacities to empower them. I am often tempted by the lure of expectation which leads me to do things my own way and to work toward my own illusions of the future. The future will come in its time; doing the Lord's will now will make me into the man I need to be for that time.
2. Confidence is a key to accomplishment whereas pride is a key to failure. The difference is, not surprisingly, fear. Confidence is kindled by the Lord and includes trust, gratitude, and self-initiative. Pride is our attempt to control our own happiness. Moroni was certainly confident in the abilities and resources that the Lord had given him to accomplish good. The Lord has also given me talents and abilities to accomplish good; pride would have me use them to accomplish my own illusions of success (even if those illusions, at times, seem righteous).
I also watched "Lawrence of Arabia" today. It was a fascinating film that compliments several points of my discussion. The actor who played Lawrence did an amazing job of portraying the inner unbalances and conflicts within the character. Lawrence was certainly an inspirational leader at times, while at other times he was a monster. Whether on the battlefield or in the quiet moments of the night, many of the greatest victories are won within men themselves. Patience, dedication, humility, and faith are among the greatest of victories: their consequences are progressive and eternal. I would have such victories in my own life, but I must not trick myself into believing that they will be decisive and complete: any man can win or lose a battle; not every man would conquer himself. I cannot do it alone, and that, perhaps, is the greatest beauty.
"[Fear] is spoken of as something unworthy of a child of God. The first effect of Adam's sin was the he was afraid (Gen. 3:10). Sin destroys that feeling of confidence God's child should feel in a loving Father. Even since the Fall God has been teaching men not to fear, but with penitence to ask forgiveness in full confidence of receiving it" (Bible Dictionary 1979, 672).
The topic of fear has born a certain frequency in my life of late; I have pondered often on its purposes and effects. I am convinced that it is the fountain from which all sorrow flows; the great enemy to happiness. And perhaps the most horrid thing about fear is its subtle impersonation of love. I felt today, while reading the text, that certain fears had crawled back into corners of my mind. Life's difficulties have a way of doing that, I suppose. But, the beauty of fear is that it cannot exist without its opposite: faith. And on this note I was drawn to the second passage--one of my favorites from the book of Alma:
"And Moroni was a strong and mighty man; he was a man of perfect understanding; yea, a man that did not delight in bloodshed; a man whose soul did joy in the liberty and the freedom of his country, and his brethren from bondage and slavery; yea, a man whose heart did swell with thanksgiving to his God, for the many privileges and blessings which he bestowed upon his people; a man who did labor exceedingly for the welfare and safety of his people" (Book of Mormon, Alma 48: 11-12).
I feel a certain kinship with Moroni and I admire greatly his demonstrations of faith, leadership, and dedication. He was a man not motivated by fear, though he certainly knew fear in his time. He was confident and demanding; he was not given to expectations, but lived with a dedication to the fulfillment of potential. In my career, I hope to personify similar attributes. So deep I hope to be my dedication to potential as was Moroni. To do this, there are two keys to which I think I should currently direct my energies:
1. Be driven by potential, but not expectations. I am finding that expectations can be a clever mask for fear. Expectations lead us to the deception of control. We cannot expect things to happen; we must allow things to happen. The future cannot be accurately gauged by expectations, but the power of potential is limitless. Moroni saw the potential of his people (liberty, safety, well-being) and worked with all his capacities to empower them. I am often tempted by the lure of expectation which leads me to do things my own way and to work toward my own illusions of the future. The future will come in its time; doing the Lord's will now will make me into the man I need to be for that time.
2. Confidence is a key to accomplishment whereas pride is a key to failure. The difference is, not surprisingly, fear. Confidence is kindled by the Lord and includes trust, gratitude, and self-initiative. Pride is our attempt to control our own happiness. Moroni was certainly confident in the abilities and resources that the Lord had given him to accomplish good. The Lord has also given me talents and abilities to accomplish good; pride would have me use them to accomplish my own illusions of success (even if those illusions, at times, seem righteous).
I also watched "Lawrence of Arabia" today. It was a fascinating film that compliments several points of my discussion. The actor who played Lawrence did an amazing job of portraying the inner unbalances and conflicts within the character. Lawrence was certainly an inspirational leader at times, while at other times he was a monster. Whether on the battlefield or in the quiet moments of the night, many of the greatest victories are won within men themselves. Patience, dedication, humility, and faith are among the greatest of victories: their consequences are progressive and eternal. I would have such victories in my own life, but I must not trick myself into believing that they will be decisive and complete: any man can win or lose a battle; not every man would conquer himself. I cannot do it alone, and that, perhaps, is the greatest beauty.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)