10.3.10

It was a truly incredible week and I don't think I ever remember one that went so fast. This weekend has also been wonderful as I've been able to listen to conference and get together with dear friends and family.

As I have pondered during this week on purpose and responsibilities, I have had some precious moments to write a few words of prose - something I deeply value. I share them here with you.

Strange were those singing winter chords

That plucked strings through footsteps, deep but disappearing

And every falling minute, crystal, white, and blue

Sweeter snowflakes sang and flickered,

As though perfect greening pines would pray by playing the chimes

The air so cold and burning, living bright and smiled despite

The months of dim survival;

The absence of the buds and blooms transfixed the days to nothing new

As though the earth had slept without us:

Into each hour’s length the human stepped and sank; time was but assumed

But to the man so clothed in somber snow, it was with blissful solitude imbued

Said he:

Winter chords so dry they whistled, powdered swirls and wind,

I walked and thought to ponder while I wandered from where I’d been

As though the raining snow pressed me beyond upon my usual whims

And opened me to more than doors, then shut, before implored

The endless snowflake river drifting peaceful to the shore

And I bore with me the tender moments and those silver touches

But I suddenly was not alone; a figure approached, cloaked, but though un-cold
And as he stopped I saw, almost too discreet

A six-foot sheet of sleet sliding slowly to his feet

As though it was the first time he had stopped in weeks
But who was I that he should cease and meet a man of dust and pleas

I searched myself, confounded; counting through my thoughts uncounted
And my mind began to race—tracing different places trying to place from where he came
Blinking through a million faces, reliving long dead days, but still I could not say
The sky too, now gray, reflected my dismay
Whence came this cloak-ed figure, standing silent in the snow?

And yet was I so soon entranced by the eyes not seen within the hood
Somewhere there within, staring; they gazed in peace upon the scene
And I, now somewhat less distraught, thought aghast what was or not

Within those endless folds; a dark and unknown visage

Breathing steady streams of steam down into a drowning dream

And so my mind began to carry, mesmerized and dazed,

Following a mental maze, but strangely wanting more

As though my eyes disguised as hands commanded—sinking still—a taker

Waiting while I, wading, faded fingers five to four
As though the living ground was giving while my digits hoped for floor

And alas I ceased to linger with fading fingers, but cast my being into the sea
And no air there was that could surround the silent sounds of my drown
My memories came haunting, hell and sorrow new and proud

As though a flood unlocked, so pounded and wound within me rebarred bounds

As though a dam of guilt and secrets unearthed a hidden fate unfound

Such pain did I experience then, such fear and fault and shame

My sea of restitution passed

I crawled and curled and cowered, caressed by not but all my blame

My sunken heart sat pleading, hours dreaming of an end or means
And then the man appeared to me

“Stranger, please—I cannot see. Whether pity, death, or forgiveness be,

Please give it me.”

Light do I remember then, a fire broad and white

As though my being discerned a furnace, searching sins to then ignite

And my frightened mind lay burning; a perfect clarity retrieved

And my eyes could then perceive

That the means by which I achieved the dream had been inside my being before
In a most dormant state of sleeping, weeping while it waited for this moment to appear
Now discovered, sought, and deeply, changing thoughts and sources core
Imbuing me with new belief—cleansing my confusions with an infusion glory for

The vision soon recoiled, but he still stood there, breathing

Words which feeble human tongues can see, but not repeat
And he had no cloak nor hood, but I could barely see his features
Such glory in a lightning countenance, cracking like the skies above
I shaded my eyes, but could not disguise the man standing perfectly and wise
And no snow could yet describe the white footprint of his stride
He walked on past me smiling, taking with him all my vice

Years and days have faded now, my life has shown its share

But still this chair and disposition hold my folded hands that know
Whence came that cloak-ed horseman who stood so silent in the snow
And each new frozen cold reminds me of that moment deep in winter
When my feelings seemed to break a boundary

And my being was cleansed of crimson, white as fleece; a burden free from woe

A kingdom born within me, a truth and easy yoke

As inspired by our loving prophet - I seek to express my gratitude. To my family who supports me and loves me: my parents, my dear brothers, my wonderful cousin, and her family. I learn daily from your examples and thank you so much for listening and understanding me - for helping me to grow.

I wish to express gratitude to my dear friends: Alissa, Dylan, Julie, Megan, Ilarene, and others. I am grateful for your examples, for your council, for your advice, for your love; I am truly blessed by you. And I want to make special mention here of Alissa: I cannot adequately express how grateful I am for what we have achieved and learned and become together. Thank you.

I wish to express gratitude to our Lord. Through Him I have found new life and have tasted of a happiness so pure, beautiful, and true as I cannot fully comprehend. But still it wavers not, faileth not, and remains as a constant companion, unconditional and eternal and for this and all else I am eternally grateful.